Hairspray Parody
by GirlInTheMirror121
Summary: Exactly as the title says: a parody on Hairspray! R&R please, and above all, ENJOY! COMPLETE!
1. Act 1

**A/N: Ok, I'm back writing parodies. This, I must say, is a refresher from my serious Hannah Montana Evanescence oneshot collection. Anyways, here's a brand-new parody for all of you! I just saw Hairspray (the movie musical) the other week (TWICE IN A ROW!), so here's a parody on that. Not that this show isn't funny enough already, but this is my take on it. Enough of my babbling, on to the show!**

**World: Musical/Movie (mostly Musical, songs not in the movie are included)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I did own Hairspray…and Zac Efron, too!**

**Dedication: To…to…to…Meg, 'cause she loves Hairspray, too (mostly BECAUSE of Zac Efron)**

Tracy: Goooooooood morning, Baltimore!

Citizens: Baltimore itself can't answer back, because it's a city. So, we'll sing too!

Tracy: Look at my hair!

Citizens: Yeah, try to look AROUND it in school…

Tracy: Ahem. This is my big opening number. Can we have a little cooperation, please?

Citizens: Sorry.

Tracy: Baltimore and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Citizens: Glad THAT'S over. Let's go back to our regular lives and act as if we were never singing and dancing at all.

Tracy: C'mon, Penny! We need to go home NOW to watch more TV!

Penny: _panting heavily _Right…_pant_ behind…_pant _ya, Tracy!

Tracy: IT'S THE CORNY COLLINS SHOW!

Tracy and Penny: SQUEE!

Corny: Ah, who needs school? Drop out and become…one of ussssss.

Council Members: Look at us! We're so perfect and popular and on TV!

Amber: And you LOSERS aren't!

Corny: Uh, Amber, we're on LIVE…

Amber: WhatEVER! My mommy's your boss! _Smiles sweetly_

Corny: CUT TO COMMERCIAL PLEASE!!!!

Velma: Is something wrong, Corny?

Corny: N…not at all, Velma.

Velma: Nothing wrong with my daughter?

Corny: _Reading off random index card, for moments like this _No, Velma. Your daughter is perfect. We must get more shots of her.

Velma: That's a good host.

Corny: _Sighs and mutters under breath _They can't pay me enough sometimes…

Tracy: IT'S LIIIIIIIIIIINK!

Random fangirls: LINK!!!!!!!! SUPER HOTTIE!!!!! _Scream _

Edna: Turn it down, Tracy! Hello, Penny.

Penny: Hi, Mrs…MOM!

Prudy: 'Ello, Edna. Is my laundry done yet?

Edna: Yep'm, and your daughter is…

Prudy: PENNY PINGLETON!

Penny: Busted again…

Prudy: PUNISHED! _Drags Penny away_

Corny: We have an opening…a nine month opening…c'mon down to the station and audition tomorrow!

Tracy: PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?

Edna: No.

Tracy: PRETTY please?

Edna: No.

Tracy: Pretty please with…

Edna: No.

Tracy: _pouts_

Wilbur: Go for it, honey.

Tracy: YAYYYYYYY!!

Penny: But mom…

Prudy: Brain rotting junk will do you no good, Penny.

Penny: But…

Prudy: No.

Penny: Mama…

Prudy: No, Penny.

Penny: Mama, I'm a big girl…

Prudy: No!

Amber: Mother…

Velma: Shut up! Cha cha, quickstep, mambo, and waltz TWO three, STEP two three…

Amber: MOTHER!!

Velma: _Ignorant _Mashed potato, bird, tango, TWO three, ONE two three…

Amber: UH!!

Tracy: _Shows up at studio_

Link: Do do do do

Tracy: _Bumps into him_

Link: Hey, sorry, doo doo doo doo

Tracy: GAH!

Penny: He's cuuuuuuute…

Tracy: I can hear the…

Penny: Ice cream man?

Tracy: No. I can hear the…

Penny: Music?

Tracy: NO!! I can hear the…

Penny: Amber's whining?

Tracy: LET ME FINISH!! I can hear the….BELLS…

Penny: Ohhhh, ok!

Tracy: _Tries to audition_

Velma: I was Miss Baltimore Crabs in blahdy blahdy blah…

Tracy: See me? Over here!

Velma: Too fat. Next!

Tracy: But…I didn't get to bust a move?

Amber: Listen to my mommy. Buh bye!

Tracy: _Cries_

Lil'Inez: Can I dance?

Velma: GASP! A Negro girl! BYE!!

Lil'Inez: _Cries 'cause Velma's a big meanie_

Teacher: DETENTION, Tracy!

Tracy: Aww, man!

Seaweed: Hey.

Tracy: Can ya teach me that dance?

Seaweed: SURE!

Tracy: What's your name?

Seaweed: Seaweed J. Stubbs.

GirlInTheMirror121: Stubbs…I know someone named Stubbs…funny.

Seaweed: Do you hear voices?

Tracy: Hey, yeah…

GirlInTheMirror121: Don't mind me, kids. Have your fun…

Tracy and Seaweed: Okkkkkkk…

Seaweed: Hey, what's your name?

Tracy: Tracy Turnblad!!

Seaweed: Awesome. Hey, do you watch The Corny Collins Show?

Tracy: I WATCH IT RELIGIOUSLY!!

Seaweed: My mama's Motormouth Maybelle.

Tracy: From Negro Day?! YAYYYY!!

Seaweed: Yep. Hey, you should come on to the sock hop and strut your stuff.

Tracy: Okie dokie!

Crowd: She's really good!

Amber: She's really FAT!

Link: That's not nice, Amber. I think she's pretty cool, AND a great dancer _under breath _who doesn't stuff her bra…

Amber: HUH!

Link: It takes two to tango…but it only takes one to kiss Tracy!

Crowd: Awwz!

Producer and Corny: You're hired!

Tracy, Seaweed, Link: YAYYY!!

Amber: NOOOO!! Mommy, fix this!

Velma: Don't worry, baby. Mommy has this covered.

Amber: But she's in the lead for Miss Teenage Hairspray!

Velma: Oh no she i-sn't!

Amber: Oh yes she i-is!

Velma and Amber: Grrr….

Edna: Baby girl, let's celebrate!

Tracy: OMG Mom, you're leaving the house!

Edna: Oh God…

Tracy: C'mon, Mama!

Edna: As long as there's food…

Tracy: LOTS of it!

Edna: Why didn't you say so? LET'S GO!!

Tracy: Welcome to the…

Edna: Food place?

Tracy: Noooo the 60's!

Edna: Oh…

Penny: Who's THAT guy?

Tracy: Seaweed, this is Penny. Penny…this is Seaweed.

Penny and Seaweed: _Love at first sight_

Link: Look out!

Tracy: _Knocked out by Amber's dodgeball_

Link: Traaaaacy….wake up, Tracy! Oh no, looks like I'll have to kiss her…

Tracy: All better!

Link: I love you.

Tracy: What about Amber-the-slut?

Link: Amber who?

Tracy: Good point.

Seaweed: Run and tell…

All: THAT!

Motormouth: We can't dance on TV anymore! (I hate you Velma!)

Tracy: Not if I can help it!

Motormouth: Are you sure, darlin'?

Tracy: Yes. Link? You want to help?

Link: My career…I'm…sorry…_Runs away_

Tracy: Link! My love! NOOOOO!!! Penny…

Penny: Hmmm?

Tracy: I'm sad…

Seaweed: Yeah, whatever…

Penny: That's great, Tracy…

Tracy: It's helpless…

Penny and Seaweed: _Making out _Did you say something, Tracy?

Edna: I'm fat…

Motormouth: Nah, you're just big, blonde and beautiful/

Edna: I'm not blonde…

Motormouth: Oh yeah. Well, you get my point anyway…

Edna: Yeah, sure…

All: WHOO!!

**Act 1 es finito. LOL, felt like using a little Espa****ñ****ol there. Anyways, I think this is pretty good. Let me know, as my fans and readers/reviewers, what you think. And to anyone who's never read my stories before, welcome! I have written two other parodies, one for Phantom of the Opera and one for Chicago. Go read them! I'll post Act 2 next week. Fans of HME, the next chapter (Bring Me To Life, per request of musiclover94) will be posted later this week. ENJOY! P.S. Push the button…the review button…**


	2. Act 2

**A/N: Finally, here is Act 2 of my parody. I decided to make the first part MusicalVerse. So, if you haven't seen it, Tracy ends up in jail. I'm listening to Hairspray on YouTube right now to get me in the mood! Anyway, here's Act 2. **

**Disclaimer: If I DID own Hairspray, would I be writing this?**

**Dedication: To…uhm…my dance friend Sammi!**

**Act 2**

Tracy: Oh noes! I'm in jail!

Edna: There's no food in here!

Lil'Inez: I'm too little…

Motormouth: And this was all for freedom…

Edna: THERE'S REALLY NO FOOD IN HERE!!

Tracy: FIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYRO!!

All: Huh?

Tracy: I mean, LIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!

Velma: You're staying here, missy!

Wilbur: Can you PLEASE let them out?

Velma: Take your wife, but the chubby girl stays.

Wilbur: Let me throw out some insults at you, but somehow make them sound nice!

Edna: Right back atcha, honey!

Seaweed: Penny, I love you!

Penny: Seaweed, you're HOT! Screw what my mom thinks! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always looooooooooooooove yooooooooooooouuuuuuuu!

Link: I'm SUPER LINK! Here to save the fair maiden, TRACY! _Falls on face_

Tracy: LINK! Um…need some help?

Link: Nah, I'm cool, I'm cool. DANG IT!

Tracy: Are you hurt?

Link: No, I messed up my hair!

Tracy: Just get me out of here!

Link: Oh, right, right.

Seaweed and Link: You're free, my love!

Link, Seaweed, Tracy, Penny: Time to sing the love song!

Corny: Here we go again…_glues on smile _it's the Miss Hairspray Pageant!

Council Members: Hairspray! Yayy!!

Corny: _Through teeth _I'll get you for this, Velma!

All: HAIIIIIIIRSPRAAAAAAAAAY!

Velma: Guards! There's a goat on the lam!

Police Guards: Erm…Miss Von Tussle, a goat?

Velma: Dang. I mean, there's a FAT GIRL on the lam!

Police Guards: Sure, whatever.

Velma: Just do it.

Police Guards: But…

Velma: Get out.

Police Guards: _Leave and get locked out like idiots_

Velma: Idiots. I want my precious baby daughter to win! _Switches tallies_

Edna: THE CHEATING, LYING, SKANKY…

Wilbur: Get 'em, babe!

Edna: Nice boobs, Velma. Where'd you get them?

Velma: Erm…CUT!

Tracy: Watch me out-dance Amber!

Amber: NOOOOOOOO!

Link: I love you Tracy!

Seaweed: Penny…let's dance.

Penny: What?

Seaweed: Let's DAAAAAAAAANCE!

Penny: STOP QUOTING WICKED!!

Seaweed: Sorry.

Penny: I am now a checkerboard chick! (Shouldn't it be CHESSboard? Ah, well)

Tracy: C'mon, Mama!

Edna: I'm fat. I don't care. YAYY!!

Amber: Mommy…

Velma: WAHHH!!

Amber: Well…bye!

All: YOU CAN'T STOP THE BEAAAAAAT!

**I know, sucked. But, oh well. And if anyone has any requests for me to parody, I'll do the best I can (if I know the show) HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now go, go and review!**


End file.
